{"id":299,"date":"2013-02-25T19:27:53","date_gmt":"2013-02-26T03:27:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alfieland.com\/?p=299"},"modified":"2013-08-21T10:06:12","modified_gmt":"2013-08-21T18:06:12","slug":"how-i-met-your-mothergrandmotherreally","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alfieland.com\/?p=299","title":{"rendered":"How I Met Your Mother\/Grandmother\u2026Really!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"buds\"<\/a>

John and Al-1966<\/p><\/div>\n

\u2026how do two young high school coaches new to LA spend a day off?\u00a0 You\u2019re right\u2026playing basketball at the Pasadena Athletic Club.\u00a0 On Washington\u2019s birthday of 1967, my bud John and I were a bit parched after running full court for four or five hours and we were enthusiastically seeking refreshment whereupon we stumbled into Shaps\u2026a watering hole on Colorado Blvd. in east Pasadena.\u00a0 What a find, and here we were without a shower or a change of clothes. As we approached the bar, it was apparent that we accidentally discovered the mother lode of \u2018romantic opportunity.\u2019 The joint was crawlin\u2019 with babes and we thought it best to drink a quick beer or two and head for home since we were not prepared to play in that venue that night, but we were comin\u2019 back for sure.<\/p>\n

\u201cLounge Lizard Theory\u201d\u2026aka The Art and Science<\/h3>\n

\u00a0To The Science:<\/h4>\n

\"photostrip\"<\/a><\/h4>\n

While quaffing our first brew, we did our usual reconnoiter and had the establishment thoroughly scoped out in less than a minute\u2026as usual.\u00a0 This is an acquired skill which incorporates scientific method and chronology.\u00a0 All \u2018lizards\u2019 instinctively know this:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Determine the ratio of men to women.\u00a0 If the percentage of women is less than 40%, then drink up and \u2018boogaloo\u2019 on the next venue.<\/li>\n
  2. Assuming you in a 50-50 environment or better, the next task is to assess the number of 10s, 9s, 8s and 7s. Remember, the whole world is one great big gymnastics meet (old scoring rules).\u00a0 If that number is 50% of 50%, you\u2019re still in business.<\/li>\n
  3. Of that population, determine how many are \u2018attached.\u2019\u00a0 If more than 25% of that 50% appear to be with someone\u2026move on.<\/li>\n
  4. You are permitted to approach a 6 only under two specific circumstances\u2026that is, the hour is mid night or later, and\/or you\u2019ve not connected with any 10s, 9s, 8s or 7s in a meaningful way.<\/li>\n
  5. Only one specific condition permits you to reach into the 5s\u2026and that requires some iteration of \u2018incapacity.\u2019<\/li>\n
  6. And finally, there are extremely rare conditions which may permit a \u2018lizard\u2019 to even consider dipping below a 5.\u00a0 It requires a ‘perfect storm’. The first is what Robin Williams describes as a physiological phenomenon where mother nature plays a cruel trick upon us by providing only enough blood to serve either a cognitive organ or a reproductive one\u2026never both simultaneously\u2026AND, it is \u2018last call\u2019\u2026AND, you\u2019re really in the bag.\u00a0 ALL CIRCUMSATANCES ARE REQUIRED!<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Now to the art:<\/h4>\n

    Once identified, start with the 10s and attempt to make eye contact with your first choice.\u00a0 If there is a positive connection, there is a possibility.\u00a0 What constitutes that connection is a look back, or even better\u2026 a look back with a smile.\u00a0 Assuming you have interpreted the \u2018look back\u2019 correctly, and it was not the result of your fly being open, spinach between your teeth or toilet paper stuck to your heel, you may proceed to the table, booth or stool and politely ask for a dance.\u00a0 You must bring your drink to the \u2018site\u2019 for two reasons:\u00a0 If left at the bar, the bartender will surely take it away as though you have relinquished your spot which would require you to buy another drink upon your return\u2026 or, if she accepts your invitation to dance, she may ask you to join her (or them) when the music concludes.\u00a0 If so, you are now \u2018happenin’.\u00a0 If rejected, pick up your drink; pleasantly apologize with a smile for the interruption then relocate to a new perch since everyone at your former locus witnessed your failed attempt.\u00a0 This is embarrassing.\u00a0\u00a0 However, once engaged in conversation, both agents will determine the eventual outcome.\u00a0<\/p>\n

    The Moment:<\/h4>\n
    \"Nancy<\/a>

    Nancy – 1965<\/p><\/div>\n

    John and I spotted Nancy quickly.\u00a0 She was sitting in a booth with her girlfriend Gail. \u2018Art and Science\u2019 promptly left the building.\u00a0 There was only, WOW!\u00a0 We grabbed our drinks simultaneously and without saying a word to each other made the mad dash. I won by a half step and asked this \u201810\u2019 to dance. This was the first, last and only time I ever beat John at anything requiring some sort of athleticism.\u00a0 He reminds of that regularly. \u00a0She was beautiful!\u00a0 Bright blue eyes, a gorgeous face, blonde hair and a killer body were only starters.\u00a0 When she stood and walked onto the floor…she was totally hot, but when she moved\u2026fuggeddaboudit! \u00a0Nancy and I danced two entire sets and I could not take my eyes off her.\u00a0<\/p>\n

    \"nancy3\"<\/a>

    Nancy-1983<\/p><\/div>\n

    It was getting late. I needed to be up early and ready to start throwing basketballs around with my first period class which started at 8:05 AM\u2026 but, I did manage to get her phone number.\u00a0 I called two days later and we set up our first date.\u00a0 We went dancing, then for a bite to eat.\u00a0 During the early months of our courtship, she only ate little salads.\u00a0 I was used to something much different having grown up in a \u2018foody\u2019 house with a \u2018foody\u2019 family and \u2018foody\u2019 friends. I knew we came from different cultures, but little salads? \u00a0\u00a0After a few weeks of dating, our relationship was becoming somewhat established and comfortable and I asked Nancy to dinner at Heckle\u2019s.\u00a0 This was a great restaurant\/bar in So. Pasadena where many of the LA Rams used to gather since Heckle Lynn, the owner, was also their equipment manager. The restaurant was known for prime rib and King Crab legs, and I sort of wondered just what Nancy would order.\u00a0 Could it be she\u2019s just gonna have a salad with a menu like this? We started with a drink and some appetizers.\u00a0 Nancy then had her salad but followed with a prime rib (rib attached and hanging off the plate) and a fully loaded baked potato which was as big as the great outdoors. I watched this gorgeous, slinky, sexy thing clean those plates while she polished off about 8000 calories in one sitting. \u00a0Apparently, she was comfortable enough in our relationship to dine as she pleased, and I loved it.\u00a0 I later learned that the \u2018little salad thing\u2019 was deliberate so as not to scare me into thinking I couldn\u2019t afford to date her.\u00a0 Boy, have times changed!<\/p>\n

    \"xke\"<\/a>

    Nancy, Al and ’65 Jag XKE in ’68<\/p><\/div>\n

    This was a significant departure from dating the Philly girls who would generally ask several questions prior to even accepting a date, like\u2026Where are you taking me? Are you taking me out, \u2018nice\u2019?\u00a0 What shall I wear?\u00a0 Where will we eat?\u00a0 What kind of car do you drive?\u00a0 No kidding! \u00a0This is not necessarily an indictment against the Philly ladies, but rather a result of my reputation for being broke\u2026all of the time.\u00a0 My early dates consisted of a bus\/subway ride, a cheese sandwich at Linton\u2019s (maybe) and then some possible \u2018romance.\u2019 The romance thing was always challenging due to the mode of transportation coupled with the dining experience. \u00a0Nancy was a refreshing departure in that she was very unassuming which is inconsistent with most 10s. \u00a0I loved that about her.<\/p>\n

    \"nancy2\"<\/a>

    Nancy at Our Wedding-1971<\/p><\/div>\n

    After dating for five or six months, it became quite clear that I had strong feelings for this lovely 24 year old\u00a0 She was a sweet as she was beautiful and this could possibly become something \u2018meaningful and long lasting.\u2019 Notice, I did not say \u2018mmm mmm marriage.\u2019\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Here is where it gets complicated. I was a Philly guy living in the LA; I was working in my chosen profession, and I was making a decent living for the first time in my young professional life. They call it \u2018living the dream\u2019 and this was my Nirvana.\u00a0 I too was 24 years old and hated the fact that I didn\u2019t meet Nancy four or five years forward.\u00a0 My Uncle Bill (one of mom\u2019s brothers) was a confirmed bachelor living in NYC. \u00a0I wanted to be LA\u2019s version of Uncle Bill.\u00a0 I made my intentions clear, and reiterated it multiple times. \u201cThe Nance\u201d said she was fine with this state of\u00a0 \u2018flux.\u2019\u00a0 She was very cool. \u00a0Have you ever had that feeling while arguing a point that you are given enough rope to hang yourself? Ummm!<\/p>\n

    \"nancy5\"<\/a>

    Nancy and Nadia-1997<\/p><\/div>\n

    My resistance to marriage at that time was the result of a combination of issues:\u00a0<\/p>\n

    First was the issue of monogamy. This stems back to 1959 when Wilbert Harrison sings… \u201cI\u2019m goin\u2019 to Kansas City; Kansas City here I come. They got some crazy little women there and I\u2019m gonna get me ONE.\u201d\u00a0 I never understood why he wasn\u2019t going to get \u2018him\u2019 \u00a0SOME.\u00a0 I mean if you\u2019re goin\u2019 to KC, you\u2019re leaving somewhere to go somewhere else and…well, you get my drift. My view on this matter portended things to come. \u00a0In keeping with that theme, I thought it was my duty to do what mother nature intended and become a Johnny Appleseed in a non agrarian way. As one of the Philly Boys says, \u201cit\u2019s not me; it\u2019s him\u201d as he looks down.<\/p>\n

    Second:\u00a0 I was admitted to UCLA\u2019s doctoral program and wanted to complete my formal education prior to marriage and this was a four to five year commitment.\u00a0<\/p>\n

    Third: I would become an instant dad at age 24 with Danielle (Nancy\u2019s daughter from a prior marriage) having just turned three.<\/p>\n

    \"danielle\"<\/a>

    …And at 45<\/p><\/div>\n

     <\/p>\n

    \"young_danielle\"<\/a>

    Danielle at 5…<\/p><\/div>\n

    As the weeks turned into months and the months into years, I kept waiting for Nancy to issue the, \u2018play me or trade me\u2019 edict.\u00a0 Fortunately for me, she never did.\u00a0 After 4 and \u00bd years of dating I was ready and thankfully, Nancy never gave up on me.\u00a0 In August of \u201871, I was teaching summer school at South Hills and training my team with evening workouts at our local community college, Mt. SAC.\u00a0 I had three weeks off until the start of the fall semester and drove my \u2018new ride\u2019 (\u201971 Porsche 914) back to Philly to visit with my parents, family and buds.\u00a0 In tow were three rings which I had custom made by one of our English teachers who was a gifted artisan\u2026an engagement ring and two wedding rings.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t sure what I was going to do with them on that long drive east, but when I hit that PA Turnpike\u2026it all became very clear to me.<\/p>\n

    \"nancy4\"<\/a>

    Peace Out<\/p><\/div>\n

    I arrived at mom and dad\u2019s and almost immediately called \u201cThe Nance\u201d and asked if she would come to Philly for a long weekend.\u00a0 After making arrangements to have Danielle stay with her folks, Nancy was on her way.\u00a0 Upon arrival, we gathered bags, left the airport and stopped at a gas station in South Philly. I leaned over to the passenger seat and while shaking, proposed.\u00a0 There was no doubt in my mind that this marriage would not only survive, but thrive in spite of the fact I am \u2018no day at the beach.\u2019\u00a0 The timing was right. \u00a0I was ready to settle down; my graduate program at UCLA was concluding and I had just been promoted from Physical Education Department Chairman to Associated Student Body Director at the high school.\u00a0 More important, I was ready to be a full time dad to Danielle whom I loved dearly.<\/p>\n

    \"nancy6\"<\/a>

    Magnificent<\/p><\/div>\n

    We were married in November of \u201971. Our financial status at that time was\u2026Nancy had $500 in savings and I was $200 overdrawn. It wasn\u2019t her $500 that was so attractive, but rather that small screwdriver she carried on her key chain. This was the best catch imaginable for a host of reasons not the least of which was and is the fact that I am a proud, self admitted techno\/mechanical moron.\u00a0 That screwdriver was ever so sexy \u2018cause I could die of starvation in the canned food section of a market with an electric can opener in hand\u2026plugged in.<\/p>\n

    Nancy and I will celebrate 42 years of marriage in November of \u201913.\u00a0 At a meeting of our beloved Covina Sunrise Rotary Club during the week of the 21st, Jon (The Finemaster) Pomeroy will publicly ask me two questions: \u201cHow many years of \u2018wedded bliss\u2019 have Nancy and you enjoyed?\u00a0 He will then follow with, \u201cHow many years have you been married?\u201d\u00a0 I will answer, \u201c 42\u201d to both questions\u2026.and will be severely fined.<\/p>\n

    Much more to say about “The Nance” in future installments, so stay tuned.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    \u00a0 \u2026how do two young high school coaches new to LA spend a day off?\u00a0 You\u2019re right\u2026playing basketball at the Pasadena Athletic Club.\u00a0 On Washington\u2019s birthday of 1967, my bud John and I were a bit parched after running full … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-299","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-featured-story"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alfieland.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/299","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alfieland.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alfieland.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfieland.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfieland.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=299"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/alfieland.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/299\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":772,"href":"https:\/\/alfieland.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/299\/revisions\/772"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alfieland.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=299"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfieland.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=299"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alfieland.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=299"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}