Author Archives: Alfie

Sorry but I must apologize for using this Teleprompter for geezers. At my age and with few filters, who knows what might come out… much safer this way. To wit:

I wish I had a copy of the wonderful speech that Evan delivered at Chris’s and his wedding to share with you tonight. It was extraordinary and moving. He extolled the virtue of his parents in a most profound way where he described a great childhood steeped into a system of values reflecting that of both mother and father. I have never seen more pride in two parents then I did that night. Steve was just glowing and Sheila was quietly basking in knowing this was a job well done. It is apparent that you, EVAN, are the result of those lessons learned.  I know that both Emmy and Mikey will also be beneficiaries of those same values passed on from their grandparents.

I’ve known Steve since we were children in elementary school and we have remained very close. I can proudly boast that Steve Gross is the most honorable man I know. And to that end, he found the perfect soul mate with whom to share a life. Like all others, theirs is a unique relationship that only they know. Sheila Chacker, a close friend to all the Philly Boyz and Eddy’s wife of 54 years, once said “every couple has their own dance.” Sheila’s and Steve’s dance is theirs alone. This is where spirituality and practicality mesh into  one… powerful stuff. While both reflect and live in each domain, I’ll leave it to you to determine who’s presence is more apparent in each.

Sheila and Steve come to CA frequently to visit the Gross family in SF and almost always come and stay with us for a few days in So Cal. Each visit brings joy, fun and lots o’ laughs, but they also bring a sense of peace and comfart…in the words of Lionel Ritchie, “Easy Like A Sunday Moming.” You can see the trust and commitment they have with and for each other and their love is expressed in many ways. The most important of which is how they put each other in front of self. This is contagious. While they go their respective ways on a daily basis, there is still that oneness that drives this relationship. They care deeply for each other and will not forsake that bond…this is  love…real ol’ school.

I could go on and on about the great qualities, characteristics and quirks of each (and there is no shortage), but then this might sound like a classic eulogy. So, I will conclude my remarks with this: Nancy and I celebrated our 50th in 2021 and we asked The Reverend Sheila to be the officiant. She was wonderful. She can touch your soul. She was also the officiant at Chris’s and Evan’s wedding and at that moment Nancy said if and when we have 50th, I want Sheila Gross to conduct the ceremony. While ours was a mash up of the Sopranos meet the Goldbergs, Steve’s and Sheila’s is where Warren Buffet meets Gurumaiya.

As Pop would say, “Cent’anni” my great and special friends…
As Mom would say, “L’chaim”

I have many wonderful thoughts about Bill while reflecting on so many years of friendship, and I’d like to share them here:

Bill and I first met at Covina Sunrise Rotary in the fall of 1984 where he was charter member and I was a ‘new boy’.  We seemed to connect right outta the gate not knowing much about each other, but recognizing there was something there.  Bill is somewhat of an enigmatic character which makes him puzzling.  I think he thought the same of me.  Our backgrounds are dramatically different …he an ol’ workin’ cowboy from San Bernardino and me a Philly boy with an ethnic background unfamiliar to him (Jewish mother and Italian father).  He would look at me from head to toe and shake his head reflecting, ‘I don’t know what to think about this guy.’  Kinda like a dog looking at a cat for the first time.  However, we got to know each other quite well over a fairly short period of time, and our respect and affection grew.  There was a seminal event that captured a peek into the real Bill, and that was the passing of our Rotary brother, Tex Everson back in ’87.  They were really close buds and this event was significant in many ways.  It brought our community of CSR much closer …we all mourned Tex’s passing.  This was not a planned event but rather an impromptu and organic invitation for all to meet at the conclusion of his memorial service.  Grieving is difficult, and this kind gesture was very comforting to all of us.  I’ve seen the Ol’ Cowboy cry only once…he took it hard.  That told me a lot about what was inside this edgy yet gentle soul.  The event morphed into a party and resulted in a closeness that endured for many years.  Our Band of Brothers was born and Bill was integral part of that creation…coulda been the poster boy for our club.

Seven Spanish Angels – 1990

When you go backpacking with a bunch guys, you learn a lot about each other.  I provided entertainment for our group having been a ‘street urchin.’  On my first trip, I asked, “how do you know we are actually on a trail?”  That was the beginning of transforming a rookie into a ‘sorta backpacker.’  Bill was helpful to a degree, but found great humor in my lack of experience.  He sat on a rock just to watch me set up my tent for amusement but then offer instructions after an hour of frustration.  On our first of many trips to Wyoming, Bill wanted to stop at a bait shop for live worms prior to getting to our campsite.  Bill was a fisherman and he and I were partnering on the separate rocks about 60 or so yards from each other.  I baited my hook with one of these worms that looked like small snakes and casted into the lake.  The line came back and hooked me in the chin.  That ******* worm (again, small snake) was doing all it could to climb into mouth and I could not get that hook free.  I had two choices:  yank the hook form my chin and bleed to death or call Bill for help.  I debated.  The reason for debate: he had just insulted my boots by calling them ‘melon farmer boots.’ What was he gonna do and say once he saw my predicament?  I yielded.  I yelled for Bill to come over ’cause I needed the help.  He casually approached not yet knowing the issue.  Once he saw the happening, he wanted to laugh so hard but was restrained until the situation was resolved.  He may still be laughing.

On another Wyoming trip, we decided to go on horseback.  I had been on a horse once in my life when I was about five and a guy came around the neighborhood in So Philly with pony rides for kids.  Bill being a former cowboy was all too familiar with horses.  I was not.  My horse was not properly cinched and I enjoyed an up-close and personal look at the underside of a horse.  Bill and the boys (especially Bull Hubbert and Jon Pomeroy) had a good laugh.  Dinner that night was equally enjoyable at my expense.

Lastly, on yet another Wyoming trip Bill and I had a problem.  Actually, Bill had a problem with me.  We luckily caught some pretty nice cutthroat trout and I was on fish cleaning patrol whereupon Bill offered me his knife.  When my job concluded, I jammed his knife into a log and Bill went “ape****”.  He screamed at me with ,”how could you do that my knife?  I’ve had this knife since childhood and you just ruined my blade.”  I offered a reason for my action and responded with, “in every cowboy movie I have ever seen, there was always somebody who did that.”  I apologized profusely and Bill received the apology but did not indicate acceptance of such.  He was quiet at dinner.  Everyone knew about the dust up.  I began to tell a story of my boy scout tenure (brief) where we had to pass a skill to advance to 1st class called ‘Knife and Ax’.  The scoutmaster asked me several questions straight out of the manual and I answered them correctly.  He then said asked, “how do you throw a knife into a tree?”  I attempted to throw the knife and it hit the tree with a thud and fell to the ground.  He said, “you fail.”  I practiced throwing knives into trees ad-nauseum and I could stick a knife into a tree right handed, left handed, behind my back and blindfolded.  I was ready for retesting but the scout master asked me how to throw an ax into a tree.  I wasn’t ready for that and I failed to stick that ax.  I practiced throwing axes and I could stick an ax into a tree at a 3:00 AM wake up call without a warm up.  I was ready for retesting and I could easily handle any assignment thrown my way.  The scout master then asked me to throw a knife into a tree and with a degree of confidence I said, “which hand?”  I stuck that knife into the tree and it took three guys to get it out.  The scoutmaster said, “you fail; never throw a knife or ax into anything that is alive.”    The guys howled and Bill gave a polite grin…he was still not amused about the condition of his knife.  Fast forward…upon coming out of the mountains we stayed in a little burg named DuBoise where they were having a mountain man rendezvous with black powder rifle & pistol contests, wrestling, hawk & ax throw, merchandise for sale and a lotta fire water. Over loudspeakers they announced for all contestants for ‘knife & ax” to report to the venue.  I then heard, “Bucky Goldstein” please report to the knife & ax venue.”  I knew that was me.  I knew because there are probably three Jews who live in Wyoming and two were in synagogue…it was Saturday.  I’m not sure if it was Bill, Bull or Pomeroy who did that, but I couldn’t not go after telling that story.   “Bucky” was called and stuck that knife in the dead center of that target and no one in that crowd was more surprised than me.  A raucous cheer came from the spectators and that Ol’ Cowboy’s cheer was the loudest and he couldn’t wait to congratulate me with a big ass smile, and a very hearty handshake.  The happiest moment for me was the fact that Bill and I were good, and, I couldn’t buy a drink throughout the remainder of that trip. Not sure of his knife’s fate. See my article The Legend of Bucky Goldstein for more details.

I think a lot about Bill, especially during these most recent years where he was infirmed.  I once visited with some staff explaining in some detail who this man is.  The attendants knew Bill well and held him in high regard.  He was respected, admired and loved.  Here was a guy who said, “If you ask me to speak publicly at Rotary, I’ll quit the club.”  Once he got hold of a mike, you couldn’t tear it away.  Like many of us, he too was a walking paradox.  Bill was an integral part of our members who became the cement of our very close group of buds…Bill was the poster boy.  We were a group of oddballs who found each other and that was our magic.

I came upon a country western song written and sung by Bill Joe Shaver.  It is titled, “Ol’ Chunk Of Coal.”  I sang it in front of Bill (and others) some years ago and he loved it.  He said…”that’s me.”

I’m Just an old chunk of coal
But I’m gonna be diamond someday.
I’m gonna grow and glow ’til I’m so blue perfect.
I’m gonna put a smile on everybody’s face.

I’m gonna kneel and pray everyday,
Lest I should become vain along the way.
I’m just an ol’ chunk of coal, now Lord,
But I’m gonna be a diamond someday.

I’m gonna learn the right words to talk.
I’m gonna search and find a better way to walk.
I’m gonna spit and polish my old rough-edged self,
‘Till I get rid of every single flaw.

Well I’m gonna be the world’s best friend.
I’m gonna go ’round shakin’ everybody’s hand, yeah.
I’m just an old chunk of coal, now Lord,
But I’m gonna be a diamond someday.

Yeah, I’m gonna be the cotton-pickin’ rage of the age.
I’m gonna be a diamond some day.

And a diamond he was.  Rest In Peace Ol’ Cowboy
…your buddy misses you.

…the ANSWER is…Jon Pomeroy. The QUESTION is…who is all seeing, all knowing, omniscient and ‘abolluba’ ok? You guessed it. When I first came to Covina Sunrise Rotary back in the 1980’s and met Jon, I was really entertained by his wild antics, but what really made me look beyond the show was his keen sense of wit, brevity and timing in his weekly delivery as the Finemaster. Who can get a crowd laughing hysterically at 7:45 AM? This when I knew Jon was highly intelligent…not just smart, but wise. While Jon was so much more than just the ‘fun & games dude’ at Rotary, he was quite serious and focused on his professional and philanthropic commitments. He was a dutiful husband, a doting surrogate father/grandpa and a lifeline to those in need. Along with Pam, Jon spent countless hours in the advancement of our Operation Santa Clothes project and all things Rotary and beyond. He was selfless. Rare!

In the early years of our club, an unusual triumvirate was created by nothing more than natural attraction. This association of three guys was most unlikely due to our dramatic differences. Without CSR, those friendships would never have formed, and those rich years would never have been. The principals were, Jon, George Bradley and me. Never have three individuals had less in common than us: different origins, religions, cultures, education, careers, lifestyles, yet it worked. We couldn’t figure it out, but then it became clearer as time passed. We were like minded in many ways. We needed something bigger than each of us. We needed to have a hand in making lives better. We needed to belong. We got it. Together (along with many other Rotarians), we fought poverty, ignorance and disease all while having our yuks along the way.

When you spend a week on a backpacking trip with a bunch of guys, you get to learn a lot about each other. Our trips to Wyoming (4 or 5) were just such a venue and Jon was at his funniest. In association with Bull, Tim and later Terry, Jon narrated two of those trips as the mystical park ranger, Gene Kliendorff (or something). There are two videos which may be viewed on another story on this website titled Alfieland.com/The Legend of Bucky Goldstein at the conclusion of that story. It is Jon’s masterpiece along with his poem titled “The Legend of Bucky Goldstein”.

At Jon’s memorial, congregants lauded his praises, told funny stories and paid tribute to an extraordinary guy… they only made one of these. Recently, I was asked by someone who knew of Jon, but didn’t really know him, to provide some insight to the persona. The first words that came to mind were, “enigma” and “paradox.” Oh yeah, we know Jon was smart & funny & caring & committed… all of those things. But he was a puzzle. His mind worked differently. He picked up ‘waves’ that came from somewhere else… that was his charm. What he did with those waves was his magic. The dude was a pied piper… charismatic to a fault. He didn’t have fans. He had disciples. I believe there is a part to Jon that no one knew… not even him. While I had not seen much of Jon since his earlier departure from Rotary, I have thought about him often and with admiration, respect and love. He was the real deal.

RIP Jon Pomeroy

Obituary (1948 – 2023)

…what is it like dying twice? Is that a good thing or not? Was the experience of these two events similar? If not, which was better? If you had a choice, would you choose to come back again? These are questions I’d love to ask Ed should we meet in the hereafter… undoubtedly in very different places. And  it was Dawn, his wife who gave him that second chance by way of her unwavering perseverance and skill. That was truly amazing! She never surrendered!.

Ed Cooper, (aka The Capt., The Admiral, Coop, Doc and other sobriquets), was the 14th president of our Covina Sunrise Rotary Club in ’95-’96. He led by example and could have been the poster boy for Rotary in all of its virtue. Our motto is “Service Above Self” and he lived it. When our dental clinics, Annual Auctions and Operation Santa Clothes fund raisers were conceived, the Capt was front and center in planning these events…especially in providing logistics… (and shrimp). In our early years, our events were labor intensive which required time, muscle and skill. Ed was all in. He never bowed at the alter of that lazy mythological deity, “Mediocritus” whose tag line is “good enough,” and good enough was never in his DNA. This is exemplary of his Naval training stressing detail. He lived the Rotary Four Way Test: “Is it the truth?” “Is it fair to all concerned?” “Will it build good will and better friendships?” “Will it be beneficial to all concerned.?” Most Rotarians are like minded and subscribe to this mantra. While Ed was a patient and empathetic guy, he was never amused by morons, liars and slackers. Ed Cooper was highly principled and a most honorable.

On a lighter side…I had, and still have, my first, last and only boat. I took ownership in 2001 and was so excited to tell Ed all about it. I went into great detail about its construction, power, use, materials, etc. I brought pictures and Ed immediately identified a 24′ open runabout designed as a lake boat. He then asked where she was going to run. Here is where Ed’s sense of humor enters. I said, ” in the Pacific.” He looked at me as though I had one eye on my forehead and after a brief pause and an eye roll, he said, “just remember RED, RIGHT, RETURNING.” That was code for… lake boats do not belong in the ocean, so stay close to mouth of the harbor, rookie. Navy guys get that.

Ed was a founding member of the infamous Four Skins (later renamed) who were encouraged to lead a sing-a-long at every meeting. We were awful and the membership threw all kinds of items at us… both soft and sorta soft. No one would sing along with us. It was just us four trying to sing harmony and we were…. let’s see… how do I describe this… we SUCKED!!! Ed had an idea. He suggested that we sing along with a guitar as a guide to keep us in tune. When asked who could play, Ed said, “I can.” OK Great! Well, not so great… he had a guitar though. At the news of Ed’s passing, the Rotary Singers (as we are known today) paid homage to Ed by singing his favorite tune at Rotary which was Mountain Dew.

I’ll close with another Capt Cooper incident which was noteworthy. Twenty-five years ago, a colleague of mine (and friend to the Coopers) was marrying a former South Hills student of mine from the early 70s. The event was held in Chula Vista and and we were excited and happy for the soon to be newlyweds. Here is where this wedding gets interesting. The officiate was a no show. In a panic, several of us encouraged Ed to serve as the JP since he was a naval Captain. While all in attendance knew this would not constitute a legal marriage, it would at least provide some relief. So, Ed stood beside a little fountain & pond at this outdoor venue (a substitute for an ocean) and performed a mock wedding ceremony. It was great. Later, the “real dude” showed up at the reception and performed the legal ceremony. All in all it was a fun event for the guests (not so much for the bride & groom) and eventually the right things happened for the right reasons. Ed saved the day.

We miss the Captain very much. He is in our Rotary lore as a legend and his many contributions are hailed and valued.

Sail On, Sail On Sailor

…I reluctantly joined Covina Sunrise Rotary in 1984 just a year and a half after its charter date and remain an active member.  You may ask why.  Well…when I think about it, I too question the sanity of my decision.  Let’s see…

• I wake up at 5:30 AM every Tuesday morning…not easy!
• I pay for a breakfast I never eat-$
• I am humiliated along with three others who sing each week in front of the club.  We receive incoming projectiles from our audience…really!
• I get fined for my birthday-$
• I get fined for my wedding anniversary-$
• I get fined for welcoming a granddaughter into the world-$
• I get fined when I miss a meeting if traveling-$
• I must present the Fine Master with a gift from my sojourn-$
• I must present the Club President with a gift as well-$
• I contribute to the Paul Harris Foundation-$
• I contribute to the Tex Everson Humanitarian Endowment-$
• I pay monthly dues-$
• I have spent countless hours in my earlier years with setup and breakdown of all CSR events
• I have spent countless hours participating in and supporting any and all CSR events

Continue reading →

…I’m probably one of many who live in ‘political purgatory.’ I’m not a republican although my politics do lean to the right; I’m not a Democrat although I support some moderately left issues; I’m not a Libertarian although I really want government out of my life (mostly). So, the question is… who in the body politic speaks for me? Continue reading →

Upon returning from our recent expedition to four African countries, our National Geographic tour leader, Dr. Bill Branch, prepared a recap of our experience.  I asked for and received permission from Bill to publish his “Farewell Letter” to us on Alfieland.com.  He was gracious in granting such. There were seven in our party…a family of four adults from Denver including a physician and a retired geologist along with Nancy, Kaitlin and yours truly.  We traveled by small private aircraft from South Africa to Namibia then on to Botswana.  Nat Geo then handed us off to another operator to enter Zimbabwe since they do not conduct business in that country for a variety of reasons.

 

Enjoy the narrative and photos Bill so kindly passed on to us.  Kaitlin took some great pix as well, and I’ll eventually post a few once she has concluded her editing. This expedition was nothing short of ‘amazing,’ and I do not use that word lightly.  I came away with a dramatic sense of ‘oneness.’  That is to say how all matter is connected relative to flora, fauna, topography, culture, etc.  It all seems to fit in some sort of unexplainable grand order where all is dependent upon all…if that makes sense.  And…I’m finally okay with not knowing how all ‘this’ comes about.

 

Please enjoy Dr. Branch’s remarks.

—Alfie

Continue reading →

…Arnie and I were kids together in Philadelphia where he was my big brother Jimmy’s friend. I was probably 11 or 12 years old and Arnie 14 or 15 when he spoke his first words directly to me, “check out, roach.” While I, along with my friends, knew who Arnie was, we dared not speak to him or any of the ‘ big guys’ for fear of being berated, humiliated or even worse …in a fight we couldn’t win.

The Back Story

Pennell School yard was the center of the universe for basketball players from all over the surrounding neighborhoods and it was ground zero for me and my buds. Early Saturday mornings in the winter, we went to Pennell with shovels to remove the snow from two half courts. This process usually took about half an hour. We were then ready to play, but. .. au contraire. The ‘ balagulas’ (Yiddish for tough guys) came along and usually kicked us off the courts. Continue reading →

Sister Francine

…don’t even try to say ‘no’ to Sister Francine.  It’s futile.  Not because your knuckles might feel the old time wrath of a ruler…it’s ‘cause you just can’t disappoint her.  What a skill!   This is just who she is…kind, warm, smart, fun, committed, empathetic, thoughtful and inspiring.

We connected upon our very first encounter when Nancy and I attended a Connelly open house with our granddaughter, Katie (the artist formerly known as Kaitlin) who was considering a high school to attend while in the eight grade.   As soon as Sister spoke, I leaned over to Nancy and whispered, “that woman is from Philadelphia.”  Us Philadelphians do not have radar but rather ‘Phillydar’ and we hear it instantly. Continue reading →

Joan Johnson

…eyes can tell you a lot about a person.  They are deemed to be the windows into the soul…but I defer to Reverend Byron on such matters.  What first struck me about Joan upon meeting her in 1972, were her bright blue eyes.  They were warm, direct and welcoming.  I was the ‘new kid’ in the Department of Physical Education and Athletics at Cal State LA and at age 29, I was hired to teach kinesiology and coach Men’s Gymnastics when Gordon Maddux went on hiatus to work for ABC’s Wide World of Sports.  This was the start of our long and wonderful friendship. Continue reading →

The NCAA

With Napier of UConn ‘going to bed hungry,’ the Northwestern football team attempting to unionize and the O’Bannon case preparing for trail, the NCAA’s hair is on fire. In a meager attempt to thwart the audacity of these complainers, the bully of collegiate athletics is now considering unlimited meal allowance. BFD! Like most other SROs (Self Regulatory Organizations), the NCAA has overreached its purview and has morphed into a financial/political machine that wields a very heavy hand. Their attitude is, “comply or we’ll exact a heavy toll” and members tremble at the thought of an investigation. Athletic administrators work diligently to insure compliance in all aspects of their programs, but the issue of financial aid (legal and illegal) is of primary concern in football and men’s basketball where the opportunities to play professionally after college loom very large. With the money so seductive, it draws unsavory characters to the dance and they are more than willing to engage in nefarious activity negatively impacting athletes and their respective institutions. That wise So. Philly street philosopher, Dominick Marino, once said, “ya’ know Albie, money makes good people betta and bad people woiser.” Continue reading →

Fire Trucks and Firefighters Rant

…the late Andy Rooney would ask, “ever wonder why a fire truck shows up when a 911 call is made for a medical emergency? I do.” And, I too have done so for more than thirty years without ever hearing a reasonable explanation…that is until fairly recently. Each time I pose the question to those who might know or should know, the answer I get is…“paramedics are assigned to a truck and can’t be separated” or “all firefighters are paramedics and the truck is their vehicle” or “they may be dispatched to a fire while on a medical call.” Oh, I get it. The firefighter/paramedic is going to let the victim bleed out because he/she has just been called to another incident. Really? The only answer that ever made sense to me came from a firefighter who said, “every agency gets paid on every responsive call and the more assets dispatched to that call, the more we may justify our brutally inflated budget(s).” Ah ha! Continue reading →

…going to college wasn’t easy for me, and for a variety of reasons not the least of which was the lack of money. There was never a question in my own mind as to whether or not I would attend. I valued higher education from an early age but wasn’t sure about where, when and exactly how I would pay for it since our parents were not flush with cash.

The Back Story

I applied for admission to Temple University for the fall of ’60 and was accepted as a ‘non-matriculating’ student. That meant, part time as an evening division student. The reasoning behind the University’s conditional offer was…“we think you are smart enough to succeed as evidenced by your SAT scores and the fact that you are a Central High School grad, BUT, your grades are not convincing, so show us.” This was really a gift in disguise due to my lack of financial capability. Temple University was a private institution in those days and received little state funding resulting in relatively high costs. The notion of financial aid was still several years away. Continue reading →

…with a very Jewish mother and an Italian Catholic father, one might think life would be confusing for a kid, but not so for me. I knew from early childhood, that our family was ‘different’ and at some point this mixed nationality, religious and cultural issue was going to loom large in shaping my identity. I was right and resolved that question very early in life. I came home from elementary school and asked my dad, “Am I Jewish or Italian?” Not knowing there is a difference between religion and nationality, it all seemed like one and the same to me as an eight year old. In his own style, Pop said, “ya know what youse are” referring to my brother Jimmy and me? You’re half your mother and half me.” I looked at him, paused for a moment, and said, “ok, what’s for dinner.” Question answered; conflict resolved; end of story!

I am…Jewish! That should be no surprise in that Jewish law says ‘when your mother is Jewish, you’re Jewish.’ Remember, we always know your mother. However, I am not the kind of ‘Jewish’ that most people think of when considering what it means to live as a Jew. I am a secular, cultural, ‘lox and bagels’ Jew who does not attend shul unless there is a wedding or Bar/Bat Mitzvah even though I had my Bar Mitzvah at age 20. I do not subscribe to the theology or dogma of any religion, political party or label. That said, I’ll be the first to take offense at even a hint of an anti-Semitic remark or act. Continue reading →